You Might Be An RC Modeler If....
- ...You have ever glued both hands together with
CA and had to use an x-acto knife in your teeth to cut them apart.
- ...You have taken your plane off and panic on the
third lap, realising that you haven't extended the transmitter antenna.
- ...You have built two right wings for a single
- ...You get to the field and realize your transmitter
is still on charge at home.
- ...You have switched your retracts up while you
taxi your plane out to take off.
- ...You lean over your just-finished new plane to
brush off a bug and drop a screwdriver out of your shirt pocket that rips
through the wing monocote.
- ...You are making an inverted low pass and then
pull "UP" on the elevator.
- ...You have taken your plane off with the glow
still clipped to the engine's glow plug.
- ...You ever had to jump over your plane as you
were landing it.
- ...You have more than one scar on your "cranking"
- ...You have fuel stains on your new trainers.
- ...You are shopping for land to build your dream
home on, and would rather have flat, open pasture land than rolling wooded
- ...You spend more time browsing Ripmax catalogs
than the TV guide.
- ...You will go flying when it's 104? but won't
cut the grass for your wife `cause "it's too hot out there".
- ...You have 47 miscellaneous Ni-Cad batteries and
can't find a pair of D cells for your torch.
- ...Your O.S. engine purrs like a kitten but the
family car will barely run.
- ...You see your wife ironing while wearing a thin
nighty and it reminds you of the monocote job you need to finish.
- ...100 deg. is forecast for the weekend and you
hope there isn't a breeze blowing.
- ...You smash your thumb with a hammer while doing
a project for your wife and the only thing you worry about is `will it be
healed by the weekend'.
- ...You have grass stains on the knees of your favorite
- ...Your wife wants to buy a new people carrier
and the only thing you are concerned with is `will the back seats remove easily'.
- ...You have a sun tan in the roof of your mouth.
- ...You always keep a supply of paper towels and
Windowlene but never clean your car windows.
- ...Your dad is looking for his padlock and find
you are using it for a balance weight.
- ...You complain about the cost of school supplies
for your kids but can walk out of the hobby shop with £127.83 worth of miscellaneous
parts and supplies.
- ...You have balsa dust on top of your living room
- ...You keep feeling for the trim tabs on your TV
- ...You have at least three planes in various stages
- ...The neighbourhood kids come to you to help them
with their summer school projects.
- ...You can't understand how some men can get so
involved with a silly thing like golf.
- ...You fit a drop tank on your strimmer.
- ...You realise the best thing about it is that
you can finally play with airplanes without having to make those funny sounds
with your mouth.
- ...You have a credit account at the local hobby
shop but can't understand why your wife buys so many clothes.
- ...You can land your plane even after you discover
you are standing next to a wasp's nest.
- ...You spend more money for a pair of sun glasses
than for a lawn mower.
- ...You use your field box to crank your lawn mower.
- ...Your kids borrow rubber bands from you.
- ...You think R/C flying should be an Olympic event.
- ...You read the Red Cross book of first-aid but
can't find first aid treatment for prop cuts or monocote iron burns.
- ...Your wife frowns at you at the Christmas dinner
table when you carve the turkey with an X-acto knife.
- ...You buy a 4-wheel drive pickup so you can go
get your plane when you "land" it.
- ...Your wife spray paints her wrought-iron patio
furniture with your fuel-proof paint.
- ...You use fuel tubing to drink from your Coke
- ...You have to put out an APB for your plane that
flew out of the back of your pickup on the motorway.
- ...You buy the "wife and kids" a new
Pentium III computer for Christmas so you can practice with the "Tru-Flight"
- ...You have watched TOP GUN and IRON EAGLES more
than ten times.
- ...Your neighbour calls the cops on you for spraying
your lawn with an Aries Thrush crop duster model.
- ...You put DU-BRO wheels on your TV tray.
- ...You wear goggles and a silk scarf around your
neck driving to the field.
- ...Your wife's coffee table has glue and fuel stains
- ...The weather is too bad to rake the leaves but
you can going flying.
- ...You got more "toys" for Christmas
than your kids did.
- ...You have a field box full of every special tool
made but don't have a jack when you have a flat tyre on your car.
- ...You look for the servo linkage and antenna wire
on every airplane in a movie.
- ...You have at least ten T-shirts with airplanes
- ...You carry a chain saw with you to the flying
field so you can retrieve your plane or clear for a landing approach.
- ...You have ever made a picture frame from parts
left over from an airplane kit.
- ...You change glow plugs every other week but have
over 100,000 miles on your car's spark plugs.
- ...You buy petrol for your lawn mower in a Model
- ...You play your BMFA and radio channel numbers
in the lottery.
- ...You use your heat gun to try getting wrinkles
out of your new bathroom wall-paper job.
- ...You watch "Wings" on The Discovery
Channel at least three times a week.
- ...You have ever glued your ring to your finger.
- ...You modify your garage door opener with trim
- ...You plan your vacations using Fly-In schedules.
- ...You use more wax paper building planes than
your wife does baking.
- ...You have more pictures of your airplanes than
of your wife.
- ...You buy a £700 mini-lathe to make £4 airplane
- ...You have enough broken props to use for firewood.
- ...You have ever used an old elevator pushrod to
scratch your back.
- ...You shop Toys-R-Us for pilots.
- ...Your doctor tells you that you have prop whip
- ...You got your wife a plane kit for Mother's Day.
- ...You can cover a prize-winning plane with monocote
but can't iron your shirts.
- ...Your friends have ever strung yellow "CRIME
SCENE" tape around your plane.
- ...You have ever taken your plane off with the
ailerons reversed and still landed it safely.
- ...You can program a multi-plane 9-channel computer
radio but can't figure out your VCR.
- ...You claimed your BMFA fees on your income tax
- ...Your latest plane cost more than your wife's
- ...You have a dog-eared Ripmax catalog in your
- ...You know what the term "Dumb-Thumb"
- ...You smell Windolene and it reminds you that
you need to clean your planes.
- ...Your wedding anniversary falls on a Fly-In weekend
and you actually think about your choices.
- ...With all your mail from BMFA your postman thinks
you're a doctor.
- ...You can blow gnats from your eyes out of the
corner of your mouth and keep on flying.
- ...You think about checking the frequency board
before operating your TV remote at home.
- ...You complain about the cost of getting your
kids started back in school because it cuts into your money available for
the Swap Meet.
- ...You have complained about your wife forgetting
something at Tesco's and you having to go back for it, yet you will drive
60 miles for a £1.49 part to finish a plane for Sunday.
- ...It's September and you have already given your
wife your Christmas wish list (with nothing but R/C stuff on it).
- ...You actually enjoy reading these "You Might
- ...You spend £6.99 on your wife's jewelry earrings
at a Swap Meet and £362 for airplane stuff and figure everything is even.
- ...You tape Sunday afternoon football games and
formulae1 races and watch them Sunday night.
- ...Your biggest adult decision is golf or flying
on a pretty weekend afternoon.
- ...You crank your leaf blower and hold vertical
and adjust the trim.
- ...You buy your daughter (or wife) a doll house
kit from Hannant's just so you will have something to glue together on a rainy
- ...You have enough scrap balsa to start fires in
- ...You name your dog "Aileron".
- ...You use coat hangers and duct tape for anything
other than hanging clothes and taping duct.
- ...Your transmitter has more computing power than
a Pentium III PC.
- ...You introduce your wife as your co-pilot.
- ...You consider a quality evening with the family
consist of gluing and sanding.
- ...You show up at the field with your channel 84
transmitter and your plane has channel 48 receiver in it.
- ...It's too cold to wash your wife's car but you'll
- ...You can't wait for grass cutting season to get
- ...You crash your plane and go to the golf course
to vent your frustration.
- ...You use an infrared tach to set the speeds of
your ceiling fans.
- ...You wash your car or truck on Saturday and will
drive through mud to get to the flying field on Sunday.
- ...You'll complain about buses and trucks with
all that stinking diesel smoke but add it to your plane.
- ...You spend more time at the field working on
your plane than flying it.
- ...You use a chain saw to improve your landing
- ...Your wife uses your spare props to stir her
- ...You have fuel stains in the trunk of your car.
- ...You consider a Sunday picnic as a couple of
hot dogs at the flying field.
- ...You consider the R/C club meeting as the month's
- ...You spend £250 at a swap meet and question your
wife's plans for a summer vacation as too expensive.
- ...You save lolly sticks to stir your epoxy glue
- ...You can balance your plane but can't balance
your check book.
- ...You will spend six hours Saturday working on
your plane but won't fix the leaking cistern valve `cause you don't have time.